Imagining about you

The year 2009 has been a long one for us. Very long. We have spent more than 7 months away from each other

A week ago I booked your's and your mom's tickets for joining me here in Laguna Hills, California. Also that of your grandfather, that is my father, Ramnarayan

Mithun mama is set to join us in his Christmas break. He is currently enrolled in Columbia University in New York for a PhD program in Chemical Engineering

Nowadays the thoughts running in my mind are
- my billing rate is quite less here, and I am in the costliest state of USA
- I need to hang on to this contract, and pray that CIR, Comprehansive Immiogration Reform, happens when I am still employed; in the very least, get my visa extended next year (3 years, I am hoping, as I am hearing from friends they don't extend the full 3 years any more)
- My work load is increasing at a very uncomfortable rate. But somehow I find things easy after the initial anxiety of having to learn tons of new things
- The silent countdown in my mind for Dec 24th, the Christmas eve when you are about to come here

Whenever I lie in bed, or simply daydreaming at my office desk, I get the visions of all your little antics your mom tells me about. My imagination plays you in my mind just like a movie. And then I imagine the moments when I will see you in the airport. Will your mom be carrying you, or will you be walking by her? Or will you be riding on the luggage trolley? Or will your grandfather be carrying you?. Will I see you first, or you will see me? Of course you may not be expecting to see me. You are bound to be distracted by all the people around you, or tired from the journey. Perhaps you have a poopy diaper which your mom found too much to handle in the landing flight. I must remember to keep a bunch of diapers in the car. And bring the coats and whatever sweaters I have. The weather is turning chilly


I imagine what are the things I would do once I get you here. I will have a chance to show my dad around this country. I must brace myself for a ton of questions

Even you have started to speak, and God alone knows what ideas are there in your naughty little head

I visualize our times together, picking you up and cradling you with love. Your mom told me you say "daddy daddy" often. I am somewhat touched that your little mind carries my information even after missing me for more than 25% of your life. I abruptly remember these things and sometimes a tear slids from my eyes. I apologize aloud to you as I ride in the car on my way back from work. I am so sorry I could not be with you for so long. But then, things happen in the real life, and not everyone is blessed to have the most ideal conditions. And, one can succeed even without them

Today is, Dec 2, 2009. You turned 2 about 10 days back. You have officially left infanthood. Welcome to childhood.